How to Talk to Your Teen About Going to Therapy

Bringing up therapy with your teen can feel like walking on eggshells. You might worry about how they’ll react - will they get defensive? Will they shut down? Will they see therapy as punishment rather than support? These are all normal concerns.

The good news is, there are ways to make this conversation feel less like a confrontation and more like an open, supportive discussion.

If you’re thinking about therapy for your teen, it’s probably because you’ve noticed signs that they’re struggling - maybe they’re more withdrawn, overwhelmed, anxious, or just not themselves. Therapy can be an incredible resource, but getting a teen on board can take some finesse. Here’s how to approach the conversation in a way that increases the chances of them being open to it.

1. Set the Tone: Calm, Supportive, and Non-Judgmental

Before you even bring up therapy, think about how you want to set the stage. Your tone and approach will make a big difference in how your teen responds. If you come in frustrated or forceful, they’re likely to put up walls. Instead, aim for calm curiosity - let them know this isn’t about fixing them or saying something is wrong with them, but about offering support.

A good way to start might be: “I’ve noticed you’ve been having a tough time lately, and I want to make sure you have the support you need. Have you ever thought about talking to someone?”

This keeps things open-ended, rather than assuming they need therapy. It also lets them feel like they have some say in the conversation.

2. Normalize Therapy (Without Making It a Big Deal)

Many teens resist therapy because they see it as something only “seriously troubled” people need. If they feel like you’re sending them to therapy because they’re “broken” or “messed up,” they’ll likely push back. You can normalize therapy by framing it as something many people do, just like going to a doctor for physical health:

“Therapy isn’t just for people who are really struggling—it’s for anyone who wants support, a place to talk things through, or help managing stress and emotions.”

You can even share examples of people (including celebrities, athletes, or even yourself) who have benefited from therapy.

3. Focus on Their Needs, Not Just Your Concerns

It’s tempting to list all the reasons you think therapy would help them, but that approach can backfire. Instead, try to connect therapy to something that matters to them.

For example:

• If they’re struggling with school stress: “Therapy could help you feel less overwhelmed and give you tools to handle the pressure.”

• If they’re having trouble with friendships: “It might be helpful to talk to someone who can help you sort through your feelings about this.”

• If they seem down or anxious: “A therapist can help you figure out why you’ve been feeling this way and what might help.”

Making therapy about their experience - not just your worries - can make them more receptive.

4. Give Them Some Control Over the Process

Teens crave independence, so if therapy feels like something being forced on them, they might resist. Instead, offer choices where possible:

• Involve them in finding the right therapist. Show them profiles, let them read about different therapists, and see who they might feel comfortable with.

  
  

• Let them decide how to start. Maybe they’d prefer just one session to “try it out” instead of committing long-term right away.

  
  

• Respect their boundaries. Some teens may not want to talk about every session with you, and that’s okay. Let them know therapy is their space, but you’re there if they want to share.

5. Address Their Concerns (Without Dismissing Them)

Your teen might have objections, and that’s completely normal. Here are some common ones and how you might respond:

• “I don’t need therapy.”

  “That’s okay, but sometimes talking to someone outside of family and friends can help. You don’t have to be in crisis for therapy to be useful.”

  
  

• “I don’t want to talk to a stranger.”

  “I get that. It can feel weird at first, but a therapist’s job is to help you feel comfortable. We can find someone you feel like you can connect with.”

  
  

• “What if my friends find out?”

  “Therapy is private. No one has to know unless you choose to tell them.”

  
  

• “I don’t have time.”

  “We can work therapy around your schedule. Some therapists offer evening or online sessions to make it easier.”

  
  

Acknowledging their concerns without dismissing them helps them feel heard rather than pressured.

6. Be Patient (And Keep the Door Open)

Even if your teen isn’t immediately on board, that doesn’t mean the conversation is over. Some teens need time to warm up to the idea. You can keep the door open by saying something like,“You don’t have to decide right now. Just think about it, and we can talk more later if you want.”

Sometimes, just planting the seed is enough. They may come back to it when they’re ready.

Final Thoughts

Talking to your teen about therapy isn’t always easy, but it’s a conversation worth having. By approaching it with understanding, giving them some control, and addressing their concerns, you can increase the chances of them being open to it. And even if they resist at first, remember that simply knowing you care and are willing to support them can make a big difference.

If you are looking for support for your teen, feel free to explore our page on teen therapy, contact us, or book your free consultation to see how we could be of help.