Social anxiety can make you feel like you're in the spotlight, even during everyday interactions. But, with some practice and mindset shifts, you can learn to manage it. Below are five strategies to help you thrive in social settings.
1. Normalize the Anxiety
One of the most helpful things you can do when dealing with social anxiety is to remind yourself that you’re not alone in feeling nervous. Many people, including some of the most outgoing ones, experience social anxiety at some point in their lives.
Your brain is simply trying to protect you from perceived social danger, and this is a survival instinct, not a personal failure. Understanding that anxiety is a normal response can help take some of its power away.
Rather than thinking, “I’m the only one who feels this awkward,” remind yourself that plenty of people are too wrapped up in their own thoughts to notice the things you’re anxious about. By accepting that some level of anxiety is normal in social situations, you can begin to manage it more effectively.
2. Start Small: The Power of Micro-Interactions
You don’t need to dive into large social gatherings right away to practice managing your anxiety. Start with smaller, low-pressure interactions. Say “hi” to the person making your coffee or make brief small talk with someone in line at the store. These micro-interactions act like social exercise, building up your confidence bit by bit.
Think of it like training for a marathon. You wouldn’t start by running 26 miles on your first day, right? You’d begin with shorter, manageable distances and build up over time. Similarly, these small conversations give your social muscles time to develop.
As you grow more comfortable, you can gradually tackle more challenging situations, like attending a larger gathering or speaking up in group settings.
3. Reframe Your Thoughts
Social anxiety is sneaky. It convinces you that people are judging you, that you're saying something awkward, or that everyone can see your nervousness. These thoughts are often blown out of proportion. Reframing your thoughts is one of the most effective ways to push back against this negative self-talk.
Instead of catastrophizing a situation (e.g., “Everyone thinks I’m weird!”), try a more balanced thought, like “I might feel nervous, but that doesn’t mean I’m being judged.” Cognitive reframing involves gently challenging anxious thoughts and replacing them with more realistic, rational ones. Over time, this practice can help you gain perspective and ease your anxiety in the moment.
At first, this type of positive self-talk may feel a little forced, but it’s like rewiring your brain. The more you practice reframing anxious thoughts, the easier it will be to do in real-time social situations. Eventually, it becomes second nature.
4. Set Realistic Expectations
One of the biggest traps social anxiety sets is the belief that every interaction must go perfectly. Spoiler alert: it won’t. And that’s perfectly okay.
You’re human, and social situations are unpredictable by nature. Sometimes, a conversation might feel awkward, or you might stumble over your words. The good news? Most people don’t care nearly as much as you think they do. In fact, many won’t even notice. Social anxiety tends to inflate the significance of these moments, making them seem like much bigger deal than they are.
Instead of striving for perfection in every interaction, set more realistic expectations. Focus on enjoying the moment, connecting with others, and letting go of the need for everything to go smoothly. The goal isn’t to be flawless; it’s to engage with others and make progress, even if it’s not perfect.
5. Celebrate Your Wins
Every step forward is a victory, no matter how small it may seem. Did you manage to say “hi” to someone when you’d normally avoid eye contact? Win. Did you make it through a social gathering without feeling overwhelmed? Another win.
Celebrate these achievements! Social anxiety can make it easy to focus on what you perceive as failures, but acknowledging your progress helps build confidence. Recognize that each small step gets you closer to thriving in social settings. Over time, these small wins will add up to larger victories, and you'll start feeling more comfortable in situations that used to feel impossible.
Tracking your progress can be especially helpful. Consider keeping a journal where you jot down your wins, however minor they may seem. Looking back at your progress can provide a much-needed confidence boost when anxiety feels overwhelming.
Conclusion
Managing social anxiety takes time, patience, and practice, but it’s entirely possible to thrive in social situations. Start small, reframe your thoughts, and set realistic expectations for yourself. Remember to take breaks when you need them, and most importantly, celebrate every win along the way. The road to feeling comfortable in social settings may not be linear, but with each step, you’ll build the tools and confidence to face your fears head-on.
If you are looking for help with social anxiety, feel free to explore our page on anxiety, contact us, or book your free consultation to see if we could be of help.
Additional Resources
If you’re looking for more information on social anxiety, take a look at the following resources:
Andrew Kukes Foundation for Social Anxiety - What Is Social Anxiety: https://akfsa.org/what-is-social-anxiety/
Andrew Kukes Foundation for Social Anxiety - Symptoms and Signs of Social Anxiety: https://akfsa.org/symptoms-signs/