Prepare for Stress: 6 Essential Steps to Build Your Cope-Ahead Plan

Have you ever found yourself dreading a situation, knowing it's going to be tough — and then, when it finally happens, you either freeze, shut down, or react in a way you later regret?

Whether it's a difficult conversation, a family gathering, or even just Monday morning, some situations trigger big emotions, and we don’t always feel ready to handle them. That’s where the cope-ahead plan comes in.

A cope-ahead plan is a tool from Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) designed to help you prepare for situations that might overwhelm you emotionally. Instead of hoping you’ll figure it out in the moment, you walk in already knowing how you’re going to cope, and you’ve even practised it in your mind.

It’s not just about making a plan — it’s about rehearsing it mentally so that your brain becomes more familiar with what you want to do. Think of it like emotional fire-drills: when the alarm goes off, you already know where to go and what to do.

Why Use a Cope-Ahead Plan?

When we anticipate stressful situations, our natural response is often to avoid thinking about them. But that can leave us underprepared and more reactive in the moment. A cope-ahead plan flips that on its head — it encourages you to lean in and actively prepare.

This tool can help you:

• Feel more in control of your emotions

• Respond more calmly and effectively

• Reduce anxiety about future situations

• Increase your confidence in handling stress

• Practice using healthy coping skills when they matter most

When Can You Use It?

The short answer: anytime you're expecting an emotionally challenging situation.

Some common examples include:

• A job interview or performance review

• Seeing someone you have a complicated history with

• Attending a social event when you're feeling low or anxious

• Managing cravings or urges in recovery

• Dealing with a packed schedule when you know you’ll be stretched thin

Basically, if you can predict that something will be hard, you can cope ahead for it.

How to Create a Cope-Ahead Plan

Let’s break it down into steps. You can even write these out in a journal, your notes app, or a worksheet.

1. Describe the Situation in Detail

Start by choosing a specific situation that you know will be difficult. Write out what’s going to happen, when and where it’s likely to take place, and who will be involved.

Example: "On Friday, I have to give a presentation at work in front of my team. I’ve been nervous about public speaking since high school."

Be specific — vague plans make it harder to visualize and prepare.

2. Identify the Emotions You Expect to Feel

What emotions are likely to come up for you in that moment? Try to name them clearly. Think about how intense each one might feel.

“I’ll probably feel anxiety, embarrassment, maybe shame if I mess up. I might also feel pressure to do well and fear of being judged.”

Naming your emotions ahead of time helps you stay one step ahead of them.

3. Choose the Skills or Coping Strategies You Want to Use

Now that you’ve identified what the situation is and how it might make you feel, the next step is to decide how you want to respond. This is where you choose the specific coping skills that will help you stay grounded, emotionally regulated, and in control.

The key here is to think about what kind of support you’ll need in the moment — do you need help calming your body, redirecting your thoughts, setting a boundary, or staying present?

Depending on the situation, you might use:

• Opposite Action: This skill is about doing the opposite of what your emotion is urging you to do. For example, if you're feeling social anxiety and want to cancel plans, opposite action would mean going anyway and engaging — not to fake it, but to challenge the emotion with action.

  
  

• TIPP Skills: These are rapid tools to bring down intense emotional arousal. They include changing your body temperature (splashing cold water on your face), doing intense physical exercise (like jumping jacks or a quick run), using paced breathing, or pairing muscle relaxation with breathing.

  
  

• Distraction or Self-Soothing: If you know you'll be flooded with emotion and need to get through the moment, having a soothing item (like a stress ball, calming scent, or fidget) or a distraction plan (a podcast to listen to on the way home, a task to focus on, etc.) can be helpful.

4. Visualize the Entire Situation in Your Mind

Now close your eyes and picture the situation from beginning to end. Imagine the sights, sounds, physical sensations, thoughts, and emotions. Picture it as clearly as you can — almost like a movie in your mind.

Then, visualize yourself using the coping strategies you picked. See yourself pausing, breathing, and doing what you planned. This part is key: it’s not enough to know what you’ll do. You want to mentally rehearse it like an athlete walking through a routine before the big event.

Imagine: “I walk into the boardroom, heart racing. I place my notes down, take a breath, and remind myself: 'You’ve practiced. You’re ready.' I focus on making eye contact, not perfection.”

5. Imagine Possible Obstacles and How You’ll Handle Them

Life doesn’t always go according to plan. What if something unexpected happens? What if you freeze, forget your plan, or the situation goes sideways? Try to anticipate potential bumps in the road and how you might respond skillfully.

“If I blank out, I’ll pause, look down at my notes, take a breath, and remind myself no one expects me to be perfect.”

Having a plan for setbacks keeps you flexible and grounded.

6. Repeat as Needed

Mental rehearsal is most effective when it’s repeated. The more you go through your cope-ahead plan, the more you strengthen the mental pathways that help you respond with intention rather than reacting impulsively.

If the situation you’re preparing for is days or even weeks away, take time to mentally walk through your plan multiple times. Each time you do, you're not only reinforcing the steps you've chosen, but you're also training your mind to recognize and respond to the situation with greater ease.

Final Thoughts

We can’t control every situation, but we can prepare for how we want to show up. The cope-ahead plan is one of those tools that can quietly transform your confidence and emotional resilience over time. It helps you become the kind of person who says, “Yes, this might be tough, but I’ve got a plan.”

If you’re looking for support in creating a cope-ahead plan tailored to your unique needs and goals, our team of therapists is here to help. We’ll work with you to identify personalized strategies, practice them together in a supportive environment, and build your emotional toolkit.

Explore our therapy services, get in touch with any questions, or book a free consultation to find out how we can support you.